


Stars

by tubbanna



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Bullying, Complete, Dark Thoughts, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, not very graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:27:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29936151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tubbanna/pseuds/tubbanna
Summary: Tommy was 2 when his stars showed up, littering his face like a bunch of freckles. At 3, his family started to figure out what his stars meant. At 12 Tommy figured out how to conceal his stars.orIn which Tommyinnit has star freckles, which make him stand out from other kids.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & TommyInnit, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo/TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbut Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 5
Kudos: 84





	Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags for trigger warnings!
> 
> I usually don't write these type of fics (usually write x readers for people who aren't minors) but I started this fic a very very long time ago and I decided to finish it now! This story is based of the headcanon of Galaxy!Tommy by @/trickszie on tumblr and particular headcanons by @/emo-and-confused on tumblr from back in December so go check them out because they have a ton of other cool stuff! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Tommy was 2 when his stars showed up, littering his face like a bunch of freckles. Wilbur was the first to notice them.

"Phil, what's wrong with his face?" He has asked, holding Tommy in his arms. 

Phil immediately went to check on Tommy, being worried he was sick. Instead, he was surprised to find little stars, glowing bright yellow as Tommy beamed at his family.

The freckle-like dots grew to the rest of his body over the next weeks, and soon enough his shoulders and knees had freckles too. When he fell asleep his stars would dim, showing peace in his sleep.

* * *

At 3, his family started to figure out what his stars meant. Tommys stars were usually a bright yellow, like his personality. He would bounce around with them lighting up each room with his personality, but also with the brightness of his cheeks. But Tommy was not always bouncy, and as he grew older his freckles portrayed that.

The first time they noticed was when Tommy had a fever. He woke up, all grumpy and stuffy, and immediately went to his dad. Phil was worried when he saw his son's freckles to be more of a dull grey-blue than his usual yellow, but the next morning Tommy felt better, and his stars were back to normal, so Phil pushed it away.

The first time Phil figured out that the stars portrayed Tommy's feelings was when he came home from his first day of kindergarten, his stars rapidly changing colors from blue to red to yellow. Tommy was overwhelmed from his first day of school, but not because of excitement. He loved meeting new friends, he was loud and social! But not every new friend was nice. Some people bullied Tommy for his stars, making him angry - Red - and ashamed of himself - Blue.

When Phil asked what was wrong, Tommy rambled to Phil, and later that night, when Tommy was asleep and Phil was putting his twins to bed, Wilbur pointed it out.

"Maybe Tommys stars show his feelings." He had said, with no context whatsoever, just as Phil had gotten up to leave.

"What?"

"Maybe his stars show how he's feeling, like when he's around us he's all bouncy and yellow, but when he's sick, or sleepy he's dull and sad. Maybe today he didn't know how to feel, that's why his stars were changing so much."

"I wish Tommys stars could tell us who hurt him. Then I could go show them what I think." Techno had said in turn.

Phil calmed his children down and went to sleep, mulling over Wilburs words. Eventually, he found that Wilbur was right, as Tommy began to open his eyes to a world outside of his family.

* * *

At 12 Tommy figured out how to conceal his stars. It was tiring, sure, but it stopped most of the bullying in school. At school, Tommy would focus on keeping his stars yellow or grey, trying to make them blend in and stop changing colors, but when he came home a galaxy would erupt on his face, constantly switching colors. Tommy always said he liked to get his homework done right at the end of the school day just to get it out of the way, but truthfully it was so he could go to his room and hide them until his stars calmed down.

Techno was first to notice, him seeing Tommy the most in the hallway. Tommy would admit he was closer to Wilbur, but Wilbur was popular at school, always surrounded by people, so he barely saw his brother, much less interacted with him.

On this particular day, Tommy had just taken a test, and he had been too focused on concealing his stars to listen in class. After his test though, he wasn't happy, to say the least, and he was too busy thinking about how much trouble he would be in - already failing classes in sixth grade - to conceal his freckles.

"Hey, highlighter boy!" Marc had said, "Your little decorations are back."  
Tommy was shoved into the locker, not seeing them coming as he was walking with his head down.

"I missed them! It's always funny to see when they go bright pink in front of that one girl, what's her name? Oh yeah, Olivia."

Down the busy hallway, Techno was walking towards the cafeteria, and from afar he saw a bundle of blonde hair against a locker, another person forcing him against it. By the time Techno had got there, the kid had fled, realizing someone had seen him. When Techno had asked what that was about, Tommy muttered nothing and turned the other way, quickly walking to his next class.

Later Techno would tell Phil about it, and they would decide to make sure the twins checked in on Tommy at school more. No one told Tommy of this plan, because who knew how he would react. Tommy liked to be brave and crazy, no one needed to protect him. And to be fair, they didn't want to protect him, they just wanted to get those "fucking bastards" in Wilburs words. Phil was not happy with the word choice, but he couldn't say he disagreed.

* * *

Tommy was 14 when he had his first panic attack.

It had been a long day, full of dumbass kids bullying him. To his credit, his entire year had been bad. He didn't realize it, but his second half of sixth grade was his favorite semester at school, the bullying dying down a bit, and by now he had figured it was his brothers. As much as he was embarrassed to say it, he was thankful they helped him.

But now Wilbur and Techno were both in high school, and there was no one left but Tubbo to defend Tommy at school, and Tubbo wasn't always the best at helping Tommy. Together, Tubbo and Tommy got through their shitty bullies, being each other's support systems. Some days were bad, others were better, but most were tiring. 

Tommy noticed how much harder it got to hide his stars when he was bullied, annoyed, or feeling one way a lot more. Most times he was thankful to keep his stars mostly yellow because people couldn't ruin his mood when he was already bouncy. But bullies tend to kick him while he's down, so more often than not, Tommy found himself making his stars grey.

On this particular day, Tubbo had been sick, and Tommy was stuck to fend for himself. Usually, kids weren't super mean, Tommy was in eighth grade, how bad could it get? But today, it was different. With no bright and smiley Tubbo to cheer up Tommy or witness their bullying, the kids decided to take their "friendly playing" one step further. And that's how Tommy found himself struggling to breathe, surrounded by 6 kids teasing him about how dumb he looked. At this point, whether consciously or unconsciously, Tommy's stars were rapidly changing colors, and that was not helping his defense.

Times like these were when Tommy wished he was taller, his doctor always told him that he would have a growth spurt soon, but how soon was soon? If he were taller, he wouldn’t feel himself back into the wall, feeling even smaller than he truly was as the kid's voices surrounded him.

Stop, make it stop, make it stop, please, why is it so loud, why is it so loud? WHY IS IT SO LOUD? GET OUT OF MY HEAD? STOP STOP STOP STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP

"STOP!"

"Oy, little Tommy Minecraft finally decided to stand up for himself?" The kids all laughed behind their leader, who didn't seem to let up.

"Please, just this once, stop!"

"And why would I do that? Aren't we friends Tommy? What happened to our inside joke?"

"I said stop!"

"Come on-"

"I SAID STOP!"

He didn't mean to be that loud, he truly didn't mean to, but now Tommy was sitting in the bathroom, quietly crying as he tried to wipe his bloody nose.

Shakily, Tommy took out his phone and texted his dad, making up some excuse about how he was sick. He could explain the bloody nose later.

To -> Dad  
Can you pick me up im not feeling well

To -> Me  
Yeah, I'll come in 15. You good?

To -> Dad  
Yeah my stomach just hurts a bit and im tired. sorry.

To-> Me  
Don't be sorry. I'll be there soon

Tommy wasn’t completely lying, his stomach did hurt, whether it be from the anxiety of the fact that his dad was on his way to pick him up and the lower half of his face was covered in blood, or maybe it was the fact that he had just been shoved to the ground by 6 kids twice his size.

To -> Me  
I'm here

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Tommy cursed himself as he tried one last fatal attempt to clean up his face, but his phone continued to buzz as his dad grew more worried.

He checked the mirror one more time to see how fucked up his face was.

Not bad he thought, as he observed his now tainted red nose and his suddenly grey stars. For some reason, ever since he had evened out his breathing, his stars had been grey and stayed that way. Usually, forcing his stars out of color exhausted him, but right now, the pure thought of his stars being bright and colorful seemed impossible to face.

He shot a quick omw text back to Phil and swung his long-abandoned bag over his shoulders, flinching at the weight against his already small body, now lightly injured. He pulled his hood up and scurried out of the school, avoiding teachers, and anyone who could question him about his face.

When he got outside and reached his car, he took a deep breath before opening the door, and ultimately facing his demise. Well, not really his demise, but a moment he had been dreading.

"Tommy? You good?"

Phil had been worrying, ever since Tommy had texted him, and now that Tommy had walked into their car and barely showed his face he was sufficiently more worried.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

Phil knew Tommy had bullies at school, and he knew it got bad sometimes, but the teachers at school never seemed to do anything, and being a single parent of 3 kids, moving schools wasn't really an option at the time.

"Tommy, can you look at me?"

Tommy hesitated before turning towards his dad, cringing at his soon-to-be reaction. Phil's breath hitched,

"Shit Tommy, what happened? Why are your freckles grey? Are you alri-"

"I'm fine, Tubbo wasn't at school today so some kids decided not to have mercy. And I dunno why my stars are grey, I usually just keep them grey during the day because of...you know,"

Before he could finish his explanation, Phil questioned him again.

"Why would you willingly keep your stars grey during the day?"

"They don't make fun of me,"

Tommy could see Phil’s mouth open in protest, probably to tell him to tell the teachers, but Tommy also knew the teachers wouldn’t do jackshit, so he cut him off. 

"Can't we just deal with this later? I just wanna go home right now."

Phil shook his head and started the car, debating what to do with this newfound information, while Tommy sighed as he relaxed into the cushions, tired after suppressing his stars. They still hadn’t returned to their usual multicolors, and he had no intention of trying to make them brighter.

When he got home, Tommy went straight to his room, avoiding his brothers and dad. If they needed him he could make up some excuse, for now, he had to go fill Tubbo in on his day and how they might have a ‘different’ experience at school tomorrow.

He dropped his bed onto his bed and went to the bathroom taking another look at his nose. It wasn’t broken, but it ached in the way he knew there would be an invisible bruise there tomorrow.

Great, He thought as he wet a washcloth with cold water, hoping it could at least help with the pain.

Tommy dropped into his chair, finding that Tubbo had already dmed him in discord, telling him to call after school. Tubbo picked up immediately, sounding much more upbeat than Tommy.

“Hey, big man!” 

“Hey, Tubbo,” 

“Tommy? You alright?”

“Yeah, sorry. School was shit without you,” He chuckled, debating on telling Tubbo about his day. His train of thought was interrupted by Tubbo asking how it went, forcing Tommy to decide on telling him.

Tubbo wasn’t exactly delighted to hear about Tommy’s day, but what could he do? Go back to school and beat the kids up? (Actually, he was tempted to, but Tommy was quick to shut him down. He could handle his own bullies). 

“Did the teachers find you?”

“No, but they would’ve if I had yelled louder. I have a feeling that’s why they were more...violent today. Didn’t want to get in trouble.”

“Do you think it would’ve helped?”

“What would’ve helped?”

“If the teachers heard. If they found you, you know?” Tubbo pressed on.

“If the teachers found out then Phil would find out and the whole school would know and then I would be known as the kid who literally cried wolf,” Tommy replied, keeping his voice monotonous.

“Phil doesn’t know?” 

“He knows about the bullying, I’m sure of it. But he doesn’t know about today, or he doesn’t know the details. He definitely suspects something.”

“Tommy, you have to tell him.”

“I don’t think I will, no,” He instantly replied.

“He’ll pry it out of you anyway, face it,”

“Then let him! I’m not excited about it, so I’m willingly doing it. End of conversation.”

Tommy never pulled an ‘end of conversation’ on Tubbo (or anyone, frankly) but Tubbo knew what it meant and stopped prying. That didn’t mean that if he found out that by next week Tommy hadn’t told Phil about today, he wasn’t going to tell him himself, don’t get him wrong, but he could give Tommy some time for now.

“Wanna play some bedwars then?” He offered, in favor of changing the subject.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Tommy replied, opening up Minecraft.

It was 6 PM when Phil knocks on Tommy’s door, telling him dinner is ready. It was immediately after that when Tommy made up some excuse about not feeling well and going to sleep early. Knowing Phil, Tommy would actually have to go to sleep early, because he would check on him, definitely suspicious of his behavior today. 

That didn’t stop Tommy from getting absolutely zero sleep. All night, he twisted and turned, trying to get comfortable so he could sleep peacefully. No matter how tired he was, his body never turned off. It seemed the opposite with his stars though, as when he got out of bed the next morning, they were still a dull grey, the colors not returning.

Tommy took that as his sign to leave for school as quickly as possible. The less Phil saw his stars, the less Phil would be suspicious. He walked down the stairs late, saying he slept in because he was ‘so tired’ but feels much better now, and left for school before he could get much breakfast in his system.

So, accordingly, Tommy felt like shit. Not to mention, he had gym class first period, which usually is annoying for him, whether it was because he was shorter than other kids, or if those other kids were being rude. But today, Tommy also felt sick to his stomach, lightheaded, and those other kids were really starting to get on his nerves.

“Didn’t expect you to come back to school day, Tommy,” One snickered, getting up close to him.

“Thought you would’ve disappeared to the galactic universe, you’d fit in well!” That one got the rest of them laughing.

For once, Tommy didn’t have the energy to give them attention. No matter how many times they got up in his face during dodgeball to give him a quick comment before he threw a ball, Tommy didn’t respond. It felt nice to not give them what they wanted if he were being honest, but the kids thought much differently.

“I know what you’re trying to do, ya know,” One said, pinning him against the lockers after lunch period ended.

“Trying the ‘Don’t give them attention wah wah’ method are you? It’s not going to work, sorry bud,”

“You’re not my bud,” He only said, his voice low and quiet.

Yeah, they didn’t like that. 

And that's how, once again, on a horrible day, when Tubbo still had to be sick, Tommy Minecraft found himself on the bathroom floor, his bloody nose a little worse and ribs a little bruised. Who knew lockers were so painful. 

Tommy pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts before stopping on Phil.

He really didn’t want to do this, but his nose wouldn’t stop bleeding and his whole body ached and there was no way he was going back outside this bathroom.

To -> Dad  
Can u pick me up again  
You might have to come inside to get me

To -> Me  
I can pick you up. You alright?

To -> Dad  
I’m ok. I’m in the bathroom near the cafeteria, see you in a bit.

To-> Me  
Did you throw up? Why are you in the bathroom?

To-> Dad  
No

To -> Me  
Ok

Phil elected against prying Tommy for more information, but he was very worried when his youngest son texted him, asking him to pick him up for the second day in a row after very clearly avoiding him. And he was a lot more worried when he entered the bathroom to find Tommy looking very tired and weak, sitting against the wall holding a tissue up to his nose.

“Holy shit- Tommy what happened?” Phil rushed to his side, crouching next to Tommy and trying to figure out what the hell happened to his child.

“Some kids were annoyin again,” Tommy muttered trying to look away from Phil.

“Here, stand up. We’re going home so we can get you cleaned up, and you’re not getting out of this conversation, I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but you’ve got to, Tommy.”

He pulled Tommy up and walked him to the sink.

“I can clean my nose up myself,” Tommy pulled away when he grabbed a wet paper towel to clean his nose, realizing that when he took the bloody paper towel that covered his face now, off, Phil would see his grey stars.

“Are you sure?”

Might as well delay the inevitable, Phil would force him to sit down so he could make sure he wasn’t hurt in other places anyway. 

Tommy leaned over the sink tilting his head down hoping that Phil wouldn’t be able to see his stars as he wiped his nose clean and got a new paper towel.

When he was done, Phil was already waiting with his backpack, and Tommy tried his best to make it clear that ‘He was perfectly okay! He wasn’t walking weirdly, because nothing hurt. Yep.’

The ride home was quiet, Phil telling Tommy to get some rest, seeing he was physically exhausted. He didn’t expect Tommy to completely go out, but he wasn’t going to wake him when it was obvious he was very tired. It was also likely Tommy would be much more compliant with Phil making sure Tommy wasn’t hurt if he was asleep.

So, he pulled Tommy out of the car, carrying him like he was a baby. He couldn’t help but smile a bit when Tommy subconsciously leaned into him, just like he did when he was a toddler. Tommy used to have a bit of a habit of falling asleep randomly when he was little, and more often than not, Phil found himself carrying Tommy, just like he was now, to a place where he could properly sleep.

But, Phil knew something was up when Tommy grunted uncomfortably as Phil picked him up and set him down on the couch. Further investigation would lead Phil to find a bruise on Tommy’s torso, up against his ribs.

“Jesus Christ,” He muttered aloud, getting a cold washcloth to put over the bruises. Tommy grumbled in his sleep, probably bothered by the sudden cold, but didn’t awake. When he woke up, he would have to ask Tommy about this. 

What worried him even more were Tommy stars. He had noticed they were grey the day before, and Tommy had pushed him away when he asked what was wrong. He had rushed out of the house this morning and barely saw anyone last night, which led Phil to believe that Tommy was avoiding him because of his stars not coming back. And that was not good, not at all.

It was dinner when Tommy was awakened from his sleep, feeling much better than he was during school. Wilbur and Techno had long since arrived home, to find their brother on the couch with an ice pack over his ribs. 

Phil had told them Tommy needed to be picked up from school early and he didn’t know what happened. He’d also told them not to push it, as Tommy had been avoiding them for the past 2 days and probably did not want to have this conversation at the dinner table with everyone, but the boys had much different plans. They needed to find out ‘who the hell laid a finger on their baby brother.’

So tensions were high. Maybe not to Tommy, but to everyone else in the room. 

Tommy was a little groggy from just waking up, he just wanted to eat his food, get his work done and go back to sleep, but that was definitely not going to happen.

Wilbur decided to strike first, “So Tommy, how was your day today?” 

“Wilbur, come on,” Phil said, giving his son a look of ‘not right now, please.’

“At least, I’m not blatantly asking,” Wilbur raised his eyebrows.

“I’ll do it! Who beat you up at school today?”

Tommy looked up from his food and assessed his surroundings. He was much too tired for this, and they were already talking about him as if he wasn’t there.

“Not someone you know, and school was fine. Left early, though.”

“Stop that, we all know something happened as if your stars aren’t giving it away,”

Tommy’s hands flew to his face. His stars were still grey? Surely they would’ve come back by now.

“I don’t know why they’re still grey,” He said, playing dumb.

“Still?” This time it was Phil who spoke up.

Tommy’s face went red.

“They’ve been grey since yesterday when you picked me up from school,” He shrugged, “Dunno why.”

“Tommy,” The second time Techno spoke up, it was more of a threat. Stop trying to lie to us, it read.

He really didn’t wanna talk about this right now. Particularly never, but right now, he really didn’t wanna cry in front of his two older brothers who were cool and smart and didn’t have to deal with stupid bullies at school.

And besides, what could they do? These kids had already proven what they could do, everyone had seen the bruises. He wasn’t gonna go crying to a teacher because that would just make it worse. He didn’t need to be babysat by his brothers during school again. He was 14!

“‘Those kids have already proven what they could do? What?” 

Tommy was speaking out loud. Shit. He felt his cheeks go red, but this time it was like a fire had spread against his cheeks. The feeling was familiar, but he couldn’t put a finger on it. He had other things to worry about right now. For example, the fact that all 3 of his family members were looking at him with both disappointment, sadness, and anger (he hoped it wasn’t all on him). As if on cue, Techno spoke up.

“I’m going to beat those kids up,”

“Don’t,”

“Tommy, it’s not good, you know it,” This time it was Wilbur speaking.

“It’s not like I can control those kids,” He shrugged,

“You can control your stars, can’t you? And you can control how you deal with them,”

“Well, obviously they don’t really care how I respond to them. How do you think this happened!”

Tommy was crying as well now, and he realized the familiar feeling on his cheeks from before were his stars, exploding in color.

Phil’s voice was softer now as he realized his son was crying.

“Tommy, you’ve ought to tell a teacher alright? I know you don’t want to, but those kids aren’t gonna stop.”

He nodded, looking at the floor, ashamed of his crying. He felt a pair of warm hands pull his shoulder, forcing him to make eye contact,

“We love you, every part of you, and we're not gonna let someone tell you differently, alright?”

He nodded again, and Phil pulled him forward, engulfing him in his arms. Tommy found that Wilbur and Techno were hugging him too, and quietly, he thanked them.

* * *

Tommy was 16 when he’s still painfully aware of the effect of his stars. Sure, he didn't really get much talk about it, at least to his face, but he still gets the occasional stares in the hallway. And of course, the feeling of guilt.

He didn't understand it, the feeling. It’s stuck with him, and he’s so used to it that he kind of forgot why he felt it in the first place. Sometimes, late at night, when he couldn't sleep because of the sinking weight on his chest, he ponders it, and deep down he figures he knows the answer. But he doesn’t really like thinking about it much, it tends to make the feeling worse. 

Highschool had only made the feeling worse. Sure, now Tommy had much more friends who were upperclassmen and who helped through his problems, like Dream and his friends, but Tubbo was better at making friends in their grade, and while Tommy was going to Dream after school for help with his maths homework, Tubbo was playing games with Ranboo, growing increasingly close with him.

It’s not that Tommy was jealous. He knew the feeling of jealousness, it was the feeling when he looked at Wilbur at school and saw him surrounded by friends at lunch, or when he saw Dream and yearned to be as good at video games as him, or the way Techno’s English teacher high fived him in the hallways after he won the school spelling bee. That was jealousness, this feeling was like guilt, a weight in his chest, pulling not only him down, but somehow convincing him that it pulled others down. Besides, what was he to be jealous of Ranboo of? They were both tall, (Tommy having shot up the summer between eighth and ninth grade, his patience paying off) and funny and did well in school, and they were both Tubbos best friends (Tubbo made it clear he didn’t have a favorite, Tommy thought differently). Their only difference was the way they looked, specifically the bright stars on Tommy’s cheeks. But that set him apart from everyone, not just Ranboo, so why should it bother him? 

(Maybe it was the fact that Tubbo never seemed to mind Tommy’s stars and the way people treated them when they were younger, but now that Ranboo was here, he didn’t have to mind).

He’s claimed he’s gotten better since the days in eighth grade, but he can’t really tell sometimes. He has bad days, ones where he forgets who he truly is, one where he only feels jealousy and guilt, and his stars go grey. When he reflects on those days, he only feels disappointed, because how could he be so selfish? He’s lucky he’s smart and has good brothers and friends who help him, and don’t seem to mind his stars. 

(But they shouldn’t have to mind them, should they?)

The realization hits him one day after school when Tubbo had made plans to hang out with Ranboo. He’d offered Tommy to come, but Tommy couldn’t help but feel that it was out of pity. It was obvious the two of them talked less, with fewer classes together and being closer to different people. They still hung out, Tubbo was still invited to dinner by his dad all the time, but recently Phil had thought of the fun idea to invite Ranboo as well, realizing that he seemed to be becoming increasingly close with all of them. Tommy didn’t mind it, he liked Tubbo having friends, it was just the way he realized that it was no longer “Tubbo and Tommy, the best friend duo!” And now it was more, “Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo, the best friend duo!” or rather, “Tubbo and Ranboo, the best friend duo!” 

That, Tommy realized, was jealousness. The way Ranboo fitted in so well with them, always being funny and knowing how to reciprocate his love for his friends. Tommy struggled with that sometimes, and Tubbo knew that. He’d said he didn’t mind because he knew Tommy loved him as much as Tubbo did, but really, he shouldn’t have to mind.

So Tubbo had plans, which meant that today he’d have to carpool with Wilbur because Tommy still couldn't drive (soon though, he would be free to do anything, although Phil thought differently).

“Sorry for being short notice,” He muttered as he stepped into the car.

“It’s fine, I have a license and drive myself to school for a reason. Why is it such short notice?”

“Tubbo had plans with Ranboo today,”

“He didn’t invite you?”

“He did, I just didn’t wanna barge in,” His reply was simple, hinting to stop asking him questions, but Wilbur kept pushing it.

“Have you guys talked less recently? I mean it’s not bad a thing, everyone grows apart-”

“We’re not growing apart, we just have different friends that all,”

“But aren’t you friends with Ranboo?” Tommy was tired of Wilbur’s questions at this point, couldn’t he tell he didn’t wanna talk about it?

“I’m friends with Ranboo, yes, but Tubbo should be allowed to have-” Tommy stopped. He didn’t know what he was gonna say, truthfully. He wasn’t really thinking about what he was saying.

“You know you’re allowed to hang out with Tubbo and his other friends right? He doesn’t mind hanging out with you,”

That was it, that was the word.

“He shouldn’t have to mind,” He mumbled, the realization setting in, the same one that deepened the weight on his chest on nights where he couldn’t sleep.

“What?”

“He shouldn’t have to mind,” He repeated, his voice rising. He didn’t know why he was mad, but he knew it wasn’t at Tubbo or Wilbur. He was mad at himself.

“He shouldn’t have to mind hanging out with me when people stare at me in the hallways. In middle school, remember those bullies? They went on Tubbo as well, and for what reason? I told him he could avoid me during his school, but he always said ‘I don’t mind! I love you anyway!’ And he shouldn’t have to mind that, should he? Or the way he could say ‘I love you,’ so easily, and I only ever reciprocate when he does it first because I always forget to tell my friends I appreciate them. I always thought the way I always hung out with them was enough, but that’s selfish, isn’t it? They don’t have to hang out with me, I just didn’t know how to even say ‘I love you,’”

“But Tubbo knows that Tommy, he knows that and he doesn’t care! He doesn’t mind you because he loves-”

“I know! I know he loves me and stuff but he shouldn’t have to deal with me! It used to be me and Tubbo, and we were enough for each other, but now there’s Ranboo, and good for Ranboo and Tubbo for being friends, but now I realize that I’m not enough for Tubbo aren’t I? I’m messed up and I have to make Tubbo mind, but Ranboo doesn’t even have the problems in the first place! I’m not enough, that’s it!”

Wilbur’s breath hitched at the last part, and Tommy realized his problem wasn’t a Ranboo or a Tubbo problem, rather a Tommy problem. They sat in the driveway of the house now, and Tommy sat, tears pricked at the edge of his eyes. His stars were changing colors now, the way they did when he was overwhelmed with feeling.

“Tommy, you’re more than enough, alright? Never say you’re not enough,”

“How can I be enough if you and Techno and smart and popular? And Dream is always mastering a new thing? And then Ranboo seems to actually know how to be a best friend and Sapnap’s jokes always land, and-”

“Stop that! Tommy you don’t have to be like others to be enough! You’re amazing, you’re Tommy! You make us smile and laugh and you work your ass off in school, don’t think Dream doesn’t tell me about how you ask him for maths help even when you get it because you always want to work hard! You’re our little brother, but you easily are the most talented out of us, ok? If you need a reminder just ask me, because you’re more than enough, Tommy.”

Tommy refused to make eye contact with Wilbur, tears silently sliding down his face now. He’d mastered silently crying, not wanting to wake others up at night, and he’d found it more helpful recently.

“It’s quite selfish, isn’t it?” He said, his voice giving him away.

Wilbur’s brother instincts kicked in as he realized the voice Tommy was using, and he quickly opened his door to go to Tommy’s side. He pulled him out, immediately hugging Tommy with as much love as he could muster up in a hug, and all he said was,

“You’re not selfish Tommy. You’re not selfish for having goals, and you’re definitely not selfish for having the urge to be enough, although you already are. You shouldn’t have to feel bad for being yourself alright?”

You shouldn’t have to feel bad for being yourself. Those words echoed in Tommy’s head as he buried himself deeper in Will’s embrace, no longer being able to suppress the sobs he let out as they wracked his body.

Wilbur only hugged him tighter, repeating that he loved Tommy and he was amazing and enough and the best. And Wilbur didn’t mind waiting, in fact, he would willingly wait for his little brother to calm down, to get it into his head that he was truly enough.

* * *

Tommy was 18 years old when he graduated high school and knew his place in the world. Sure, it was one hell of a ride, and he definitely was a different type of kid, no matter if it was the teachers saying he was one of the best workers in his film class or his eighth-grade bullies, but he didn’t mind being different. His stars made Tommy, Tommy. They showed his bright and bubbly personality, and sometimes they didn’t, but that was okay. Yes, that was perfect actually.

Tommy stood next to Tubbo and Ranboo, smiling proud in his cap and gown, surrounded by his best friends and siblings (pseudo or not), and he couldn’t help but feel like he could fly, so high that he could touch the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr if you'd like - @/tubbanna


End file.
